


When the pain

by Lorien_Prince



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Gen, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25698529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorien_Prince/pseuds/Lorien_Prince
Summary: Pain was just a part of Kris's life, from the aches and pains in their legs to the migraines they suffer through school with - they have learnt to deal with it and have long since accepted it as just another part of their miserable existence.But the Dark World? That is an escape - a place Kris can feel free..
Relationships: Kris & Ralsei (Deltarune), Kris/Ralsei (Deltarune)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 47





	When the pain

Pain was just a part of Kris's life, from the aches and pains in their legs to the migraines they suffer through school with - they have learnt to deal with it and have long since accepted it as just another part of their miserable existence. 

It's not like Kris hadn't tried to stop it either, but when their Mom put her hoof down and told them that painkillers wouldn't do any good - that all they needed was healthy food and a good sleep they became accustomed to the fact they wouldn't be able to reach out to their family for help. That's why they made sure to hide their pain whenever they went to visit Dad, as they knew Asgore would try to help even though the custody agreement forbade him and they loved him too much to put him through that.

Ever since Asriel left Kris had to bare it alone and for many years he had no other choice. Until one day when their teacher sent them after Susie to get chalk, when they were pinned to the wall and advanced into the darkness before falling...

They didn't notice at first, too distracted by their surroundings to be paying attention to themselves, instead worrying about how to get home. They didn't notice how much clearer they could think as they pointed out commands as the trio had their first battle against Lancer, who Kris would later come to see as a friend. No. It was only once Suzie had stormed off and they were alone with Ralsei did they finally realise - the pain was gone. They were so overjoyed they couldn't help but envelop Ralsei in a crushing hug, they felt like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders, that all their issues and problems had been stripped away as Ralsei's checks turned a deep shade of pink.

With newfound strength they had forged on, reuniting the Fun Gang and finally usurping the evil King of Spades. But eventually every journey had to end, Kris and Susie said farewell and ascended into the fountain as their vision went dark...

The first thing they noticed as they woke was the pain, as the pair rose to their feet in the abandoned classroom Kris couldn't help but feel crushed. In the few hours of freedom they had been given in the Dark World all of their barriers had fallen and they had allowed themselves to feel again. Boy had that been a mistake.

That night was the most miserable of their pathetic, hopeless life.

Kris vowed to return, they said it was because of their friends and maybe even believed it but inside there was a part of them burning for that freedom again. So they next day they met with Suzie and decided to have another foray into to Dark World.

As they landed, upright this time - Kris noticed the pain flooding out of their system. A smile appeared as the expressionless face they wore fractured. As they broke into a jog towards the castle to once again see Raseli they did so with no pain on their sleeve. 

Although Kris was struggling to cope with daily life, filled with its pain and imperfections they managed to go through their days with a slight smile on their face, not enough but anyone except their closest friends saw their change in mood. Despite having additional problems Kris felt they had a light at the end of the tunnel that was each day, that fateful moment when the floor would drop and darkness engulfs them as they returned to the Dark World, to Raseli and to peace. 

But like all things life is not set in stone and Kris's reluctance to go on trips away from home has begun grating on Toriel, so when she saw a weekend trip into the city was being organised by the school she signed Kris up and no amount of faking illness or pleading would sway her this time. That weekend was what Kris had assumed hell would be like. They were constantly on their feet to keep up with the rest of the group, unable to pause without mockery from Berdly. They were unable to think, with a raging migraine and the blare of traffic around them and the sharp acidic fumes of the city bit into their lungs like a colony of fire ants. 

By the end of the first day they were barely able to stumble towards their cheap hotel bed and collapse onto it, clothes and all before falling into stupor. But sleep did not come easily in the night, as every little movement caused a new flare of agony to wake them, fiddling the night with despair.

It had been months since they had last gone this long without a trip to the Dark World and Kris needed that light more than anything else at that moment. Eventually, accompanied by the sounds of their own siblings and the blaring of cars they managed to catch some sleep, just as the sun had began to rise in the sky. 

The next day was a blur, well more of one than usual. All Kris could remember was their Teacher's concern at their ragged breathing and stumbling footsteps. They figure they'd fell asleep on the journey home based on how before they knew it their cover was over them and Kris was back home. 

In the morning Toriel didn't wake them for school, or at all. As Kris slowly rose out of their bed they saw a note had been left on their bedside, saying that they needed the rest. For once they couldn't argue with her doting. 

As they slowly made their way downstairs to get a cup of water they began formulating a plan on how to return to the Dark World that very same night - it would be hard after last weekends events but they couldn't bare the idea of staying away for another day. So as they continued to limp down the stairs a plan made...

Having retrieved their set of lock picks from under their bed Kris began working at the lock on Toriels school cupboard. Luckily for them it was a Monday and that mean it was Alphys's turn to unlock the doors to the school meaning hopefully their mom's set of keys would still be present - they would have a way into the school.

Back in their childhood Kris used to be an excellent liar, but it had been years since they had possessed the energy to bother maintaining anything close to resembling the web of lies they always end up spinning. But tonight was different. They has a purpose and a light and the end of their tunnel. They would not let her keep them away any longer. They needed the Dark World.

Later that night, having successfully spun a tale to Toriel about needing some air, Kris was free and at the entrance to the storage closet. Withdrawing their lock picks, a gag gift from uncle Rudy a few years ago - they pinned their hair back and began their work at once, but in their haste to return they found themselves unable to bypass it. As they continued to fail Kris became more frantic, their movements more erratic - until their body gave out and they collapsed against the door, panting for breath. 

As they sat there in the dark, their breathing ragged and every fibre of their being aching Kris felt defeated. They. They just couldn't cope with another day away from... From... From the pain, from the worries of every day life, having to fit in and hide their personality behind a mask of apathy. They just needed to go back even if just for half an hour - they needed that light in their life, Kris depended on it.

They pounded on the door in anger, but to their surprise they saw the lock violently shake - curious they slammed into the door again and they saw the rust on the lock flaking off. With a total abandon of subtly Kris put their full body into barging against the small door again and again until eventually the lock broke and they went tumbling into the darkness. 

As they stumbled to their feet Kris took a moment to relax, to take in the peace they felt and breathed a sigh of relief. But they knew it couldn't go on forever, like always they would have to return and go back to coping. As they began the walk to Raslei's castle they couldn't help but reflect on if their repeated visits were doing more harm than good, if they had developed a dependency on the Dark World. But that thought was quickly struck from their mind as their attention was drew elsewhere. At last that fluffy little goat had graced their sights and Kris began to pick up speed as they began sprinting down the hill towards him, enveloping Raseli in a fierce hug as they did so. Things were finally good again.

As they began to head back to the castle with Raseli, dragging them along Kris decided to make themselves a promise. They vowed that after today's trip they would try and become less dependent - that they would reclaim their life. A promise now set in stone they let the joy of the evening take over...

But it is one thing to think you can overcome your issues when you are happy, the real test comes when you have nothing left to look forwards to, when all you care for is making it to your next break in the monotony - that is when resolve wavers and promises break. And then it is oh so easy to fall back into old patterns, your self hate growing as you do so...

But let us hope Kris can stay determined.

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever deltarune fic and first of many ones that will try to tastefully touch on darker themes - any and all feedback is welcome!


End file.
